We Tried Penis Enlargement Exercises, Here’s What Happened

Everyone has looked down at their dick and hoped that it was just a little bit bigger. It’s just a fact that every guy wishes that his dick is just a little bit more substantial. But what lengths are you willing to go to for an inch? 

Most guys think that they’re below average when in fact they are average; this misconception is mostly due to porn as most of the male performers are more than well endowed. 

And while you’re watching some insanely well-hung dude bang your favorite porn star you’ve probably been distracted by a flashy male enhancement ad. But who the fuck knows what’s in those pills that are advertised in those scammy banner ads. And who knows if they’ll actually even come in the mail if you decide to hand over your credit card info to the sellers.

Instead of taking the risk when it comes to dick pills, a lot of guys have decided to try stretching methods instead. Stretching techniques seem a lot less terrifying when the alternative is a potentially poisonous dick pill.

So do these techniques really work? How do they work? And how long do you have to do them to see real results? Well, we decided to do that hard work for you and try some of the most popular devices and techniques for dong-stretching that we could find… and here’s what happened:

#1 Traction Stretchers

These bad boys are actually used in medicine, believe it or not! Traction Stretchers are used to help people who have micro-penises and other problems that affect their man meat. 

I went online to Size Genetics’ website to see what this company had to offer regarding a traction device. The way that these things are supposed to work is that they’re like weight lifting for your dick. Just like when you lift weights and micro-tear your muscles which are then repaired and made stronger by your body, using the traction device is supposed to do the same thing for the tissues in your dick. 

So I ordered their 200 dollar kit (thank god for business credit cards, am I right?) and started my dick-stretching regimine. 

I know that this site says that the process is supposed to be painless and comfortable, but I can say that that is a bald-faced lie. Sure, my dick didn’t hurt at the moment but afterword it sure did. Plus, putting that contraction around your dick is the most awkward thing I’ve ever done in my life.

Plus, if you get over eager and use this bad-boy wrong to try to achieve faster results you can tear tissues in your dick and cause literal dick breakage. 

After a few weeks, I gave my Size Genetics contraption a rest and let my dick recover. 

#2 Pumps and Rings

When it comes to pumps and rings, they’re not just used for sexual pleasure, but they’re used to help some guys achieve growth.

Pumps are used by putting your dick in the chamber, placing the mouth of it against the base of your dick, and pumping the air out. The vacuum causes all the blood to rush into your favorite appendage, thus making it engorged and veiny looking.

Rings can be used in conjunction with pumps (or on their own) to help maintain your rock hard boner.

These are also relatively easy to find and aren’t as fucking expensive as traction devices. So I used a coupon and ordered a pump (and a ring!) from Adam and Eve. My cost was a little less than 40 bucks plus shipping, which isn’t too bad when you’re talking about sex toys!

Before getting it on with my lady-friend, I snuck into the bathroom and pumped the shit out of my dick. And honestly, it made my dick look pretty impressive. It made it rock hard and veiny which is something I only thought was possible for porn stars and dildos. It made my dick pretty sensitive too, but I was able to last long in bed and have a great orgasm.

I used it somewhat regularly for a few weeks as a part of a stretching regimen and before sex. I wouldn’t say that I noticed a change in the length of my dick, but I did notice that it made me harder and more sensitive to sensation.

Unfortunately, after a few weeks, I noticed a decline in sensation. It turns out you can desensitize your dick from using a pump too much. You can even bruise your dick! Instead of trying to stretch my dong, I’ve decided to use my pump and ring for strictly sexual purposes. 

#3 Jelqing

After trolling around the internet looking for another penis enlargement technique to try, I came across something called jelqing. To be honest, it sounds like you’re describing the squelch of an old man’s sketcher in the rain, but nope we’re talking about dick stretching.

How you do this is by jerking it until you’re like 75% hard and then using an “ok” hand sign you squeeze down your shaft, like you’re trying to pull blood toward the tip.

While a lot of people say that this is how they’ve added inches to their erection, I found some horror stories. Apparently, if you jelq too much or too hard you can entirely break your dick. Like for real, you can destroy your boner forever.

People have reported having such severe nerve damage that they can’t even get hard anymore or orgasm. So, not to disappoint, I decided to skip this one

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to lose my dick over a half an inch. 

What I learned from this experiment is that this stuff doesn’t work. If you really want to grow your dick, you should consult a doctor, not the internet. Sure, it might be an embarrassing conversation to have, but at least you’ll have a dick when your doctor tells you that there isn’t a magic solution for a bigger dong.

In reality, I saw the biggest change in my peen when I lost weight. I used to be a hefty boy, but after doing some regular work-outs, I noticed that my chub was hiding some of my dong!

I also found that taking natural supplements (and by that, I don’t mean the literal poison you can find in gas station dick pills) helped with my hardness and sex drive. 

So stop pulling on your dick to try to gain an inch. And start doing some pull-ups and taking some herbs that are good for both your head and your… other head.

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